Advice: Teachers with dependents
Advice: Teachers with dependents
I have been to 3 Search Fairs - I was not hired at any of them because of my lack of IB experience. I have IB experience now (2 years) and want to go to the Bangkok Search fair next January.
I'm currently teaching DP A1 English and Language & Literature, as well as some MYP Language A at a 2nd tier international school. I have a master's degree in English and a teaching (CLAD) credential from California. I am married however my wife is not a teacher; she would be coming with me as a dependent. What are my chances at the Bangkok fair in January? I was turned away last time primarily for my lack of IB experience, but I know that schools favor teaching couples and singles without dependents as well.
I'm currently teaching DP A1 English and Language & Literature, as well as some MYP Language A at a 2nd tier international school. I have a master's degree in English and a teaching (CLAD) credential from California. I am married however my wife is not a teacher; she would be coming with me as a dependent. What are my chances at the Bangkok fair in January? I was turned away last time primarily for my lack of IB experience, but I know that schools favor teaching couples and singles without dependents as well.
Toss up
Thats a toss up if Search would give you an invite, they may. I think if you go to Search BK your going to have a few more interviews, but your going to be frustrated, because your not going to be at the top of anyones list. Youd be "happier" at Boston as youd be closer to the top of the candidate spectrum instead of at the bottom. Your not comparing yourself to a list of qualifications your comparing yourself to everyone else there. And everyone at BK has years of experience, masters degrees, and IB experience. English/Lit isnt a high demand area. Add the logistics cost of a trailing spouse and you drop from average to the bottom of the pile (you still made the list though). Your going to get a few more interviews, but basically your going to hear a lot of "Were waiting", which means your going to be a schools safety pick or backup.
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Just a thought, have you considered attending the fair as a 'single' and bringing your wife on your own? This is not possible in all countries of course, but there are many places where your wife could be a de-facto 'tourist' or obtain a student visa by doing a language course, etc.
For example, I know that in Southeast Asia it's not hard to stay in most countries as a perpetual tourist, and it's also easy in some (definitely not all) middle eastern countries.
Your wife could also end up getting hired locally in some capacity once in country.
For example, I know that in Southeast Asia it's not hard to stay in most countries as a perpetual tourist, and it's also easy in some (definitely not all) middle eastern countries.
Your wife could also end up getting hired locally in some capacity once in country.
Idea
Its an idea, but sponsoring a dependent visa isnt the real issue, its the cost and the stresses it adds to the relationship, and thus the teacher. Its not common, but trailing spouses without kids, and nothing to do in a foreign country has been known to cause "problems". Basically, there is nothing to do all day. On a second point, if you "sneak" your spouse with you, at some point the schools going to find out, and then what do you say? It could create a real problem for the school.
I wouldn't want to lie to a school like that. I guess I could just tell them that I would pay for my wife's expenses, but I don't think that's the real issue. We're in a very remote city in China now and while we are coping, it's difficult because there's nothing to do here. It hasn't really put a strain on our relationship, but I know it's tough on her not being in a cosmopolitan city.
I have been in touch with my Search associate and he's basically said that it's a risk going to the Bangkok fair but still possible to land a job because of my IB experience and training. But I'll have the cards stacked against me. We'll be in Thailand anyway visiting her parents (she's Thai) in January, which makes that fair the most convenient one to go to.
I have been in touch with my Search associate and he's basically said that it's a risk going to the Bangkok fair but still possible to land a job because of my IB experience and training. But I'll have the cards stacked against me. We'll be in Thailand anyway visiting her parents (she's Thai) in January, which makes that fair the most convenient one to go to.
Re: Idea
[quote="PsyGuy"]Its an idea, but sponsoring a dependent visa isnt the real issue, its the cost and the stresses it adds to the relationship, and thus the teacher. Its not common, but trailing spouses without kids, and nothing to do in a foreign country has been known to cause "problems". Basically, there is nothing to do all day. On a second point, if you "sneak" your spouse with you, at some point the schools going to find out, and then what do you say? It could create a real problem for the school.[/quote]
Psyguy,are you a kind of besserwisser?
I am a trailing spouse in Bangkok (so far), and I am fully happy, and have A LOT to do and I don't think I am "causing problems" to my husband ??? What do you know about life in Bangkok???
Please stop responding when you do not know the answer, and not only about that particular topic, thank you.
Psyguy,are you a kind of besserwisser?
I am a trailing spouse in Bangkok (so far), and I am fully happy, and have A LOT to do and I don't think I am "causing problems" to my husband ??? What do you know about life in Bangkok???
Please stop responding when you do not know the answer, and not only about that particular topic, thank you.
In all fairness, bang, I think being a trailing spouse in Bangkok would be AWESOME. Tons of stuff to do, pretty wide open social scene, lots of opportunities to get involved in stuff. But that's a lot different than being a trailing spouse in, say, Atryau, Kazakhstan.
Some schools are actually quite hesitant hire a teacher with a trailing spouse because of this. Not that the spouse causes "problems" for the working teacher, but in the wrong situation, isolation, boredom and depression can easily set in. In my own school, mothers with elementary aged children tend to be very active in the classroom because there isn't a lot for them to do elsewhere. So I can see how it could become an issue.
In Bangkok though? Heck, I'd be happy to just let the husband work while I trail in Bangkok!
Some schools are actually quite hesitant hire a teacher with a trailing spouse because of this. Not that the spouse causes "problems" for the working teacher, but in the wrong situation, isolation, boredom and depression can easily set in. In my own school, mothers with elementary aged children tend to be very active in the classroom because there isn't a lot for them to do elsewhere. So I can see how it could become an issue.
In Bangkok though? Heck, I'd be happy to just let the husband work while I trail in Bangkok!
Yeah
Some cities are more conducive to being a training spouse, im not talking BK, Shanghai, Tokyo, Beijing, or any of the major cities in Europe. Im referring to the other less cosmopolitan cities.
I think your associate is just being nice to you, and not getting your hopes up. You have a lot against you, because the competition in the room is more marketable. There going to interview you, but your going to hear a lot of "were waiting".
I think your associate is just being nice to you, and not getting your hopes up. You have a lot against you, because the competition in the room is more marketable. There going to interview you, but your going to hear a lot of "were waiting".
Re: Yeah
[quote="PsyGuy"]Some cities are more conducive to being a training spouse, im not talking BK, Shanghai, Tokyo, Beijing, or any of the major cities in Europe. Im referring to the other less cosmopolitan cities.
I think your associate is just being nice to you, and not getting your hopes up. You have a lot against you, because the competition in the room is more marketable. There going to interview you, but your going to hear a lot of "were waiting".[/quote]
Again, Psyguy, this is YOUR view. I lived in Kazan (Tatarstan) without working, I had a blast learning Russian, traveling in the region, meeting with unexpected people. Trailing spouses can be interested in culture, not only in shopping malls. You seem to be very knowledgeable but it seems that this knowledge tends to lock you into your very definite opinions. Same about the value of schools that you tend to associate to 1) IB accreditation or not 2) pay and that's it.
I think your associate is just being nice to you, and not getting your hopes up. You have a lot against you, because the competition in the room is more marketable. There going to interview you, but your going to hear a lot of "were waiting".[/quote]
Again, Psyguy, this is YOUR view. I lived in Kazan (Tatarstan) without working, I had a blast learning Russian, traveling in the region, meeting with unexpected people. Trailing spouses can be interested in culture, not only in shopping malls. You seem to be very knowledgeable but it seems that this knowledge tends to lock you into your very definite opinions. Same about the value of schools that you tend to associate to 1) IB accreditation or not 2) pay and that's it.
Sure
Well its my opinion based on experiences Ive seen. There are of course exceptions, and some trailing spouses adapt very well, but its what the admin whos hiring you experience is that matters, and all too often the admin has had a problem of some kind or another with a trailing spouse making life complicated. You never hear about the good spouses, but the bad ones you remember for a long time.
We have one teacher leaving at the end of the year, because (and quoting) " my wife cant take the cold, the short days, and cleaning our apartment, because we cant afford for her to go shopping everyday".
Even in Rome we had trailing spouses that got a little nuts. I mean its Rome who wouldnt love that, but after youve see the Coliseum, the Vatican, a few museums, if your married you can only walk around by yourself so much. You dont speak the language, and being married men are always hitting on you, or your upset that the right men arent hitting on you (she ended up having an affair, because it was either have the affair or gain 20 lbs eating all the time).
We have one teacher leaving at the end of the year, because (and quoting) " my wife cant take the cold, the short days, and cleaning our apartment, because we cant afford for her to go shopping everyday".
Even in Rome we had trailing spouses that got a little nuts. I mean its Rome who wouldnt love that, but after youve see the Coliseum, the Vatican, a few museums, if your married you can only walk around by yourself so much. You dont speak the language, and being married men are always hitting on you, or your upset that the right men arent hitting on you (she ended up having an affair, because it was either have the affair or gain 20 lbs eating all the time).
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Of course every situation is different (and every relationship)...but once you teach abroad you do see that marriages DO seem to have more issues than at home. I am talking about marriages with trailing spouses. In my last posting (and current one) there were wives (and husbands) who were bored. But, in that case, some of them had babies...something I think they would have done anyway, just maybe not as early. And sadly, some divorced. However, these were obviously relationships that had problems to begin with, just no one knew it. You never know, as an outsider, the state of a marriage. Never. On a more positive note, there is a couple here where the wife doesn´t work and she is very busy and content. But I am currently in a big city which makes a difference.
Considering many expat families go through divorce in china....The situation descrIbed by psyguy is more common than one thinks.
One year is usually ok, but any longer can start to be annoying for anyone since there is nothing to discover without significant travel. Some trailing spouses get social lives, some get their spouse's, but it depends on the trailing spouse's personality and finances. Free activities to do alone tend to suck after a while, unless you are a gamer, then life is sweet.
My wife gets pretty bored, but she just plays on Facebook or learns to cook. I also take her out often enough. Now we have kids, so not so boring anymore.
Personally, I don't think schools consider this for trailing spouse other than the extra cost to them. They would still prefer a teaching couple or single without dependents.
One year is usually ok, but any longer can start to be annoying for anyone since there is nothing to discover without significant travel. Some trailing spouses get social lives, some get their spouse's, but it depends on the trailing spouse's personality and finances. Free activities to do alone tend to suck after a while, unless you are a gamer, then life is sweet.
My wife gets pretty bored, but she just plays on Facebook or learns to cook. I also take her out often enough. Now we have kids, so not so boring anymore.
Personally, I don't think schools consider this for trailing spouse other than the extra cost to them. They would still prefer a teaching couple or single without dependents.
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To the OP: Get hired by a good school in Thailand. Problem solved! But not easy to do unfortunately, jobs there are competitive at the real international schools.
I would not outright lie to a school about being married, but if it comes up just say your wife does her own thing and will be visiting you from time to time (at your expense). This is perfectly reasonable and if the school is still bent out of shape over this, then you probably don't want to work for them anyway.
I would not outright lie to a school about being married, but if it comes up just say your wife does her own thing and will be visiting you from time to time (at your expense). This is perfectly reasonable and if the school is still bent out of shape over this, then you probably don't want to work for them anyway.
trailing spouses
[quote="Mathman"]
My wife gets pretty bored, but she just plays on Facebook or learns to cook. I also take her out often enough. Now we have kids, so not so boring anymore.
[/quote]
hm... there are tons of things to do no matter where you are. I started to read French and Russian classical literature for example. I also play the piano on a pretty good level. I don't understand how it s possible to get bored. There are just tons of things to do, but of course, if you are only interested in Facebook ... :(
My wife gets pretty bored, but she just plays on Facebook or learns to cook. I also take her out often enough. Now we have kids, so not so boring anymore.
[/quote]
hm... there are tons of things to do no matter where you are. I started to read French and Russian classical literature for example. I also play the piano on a pretty good level. I don't understand how it s possible to get bored. There are just tons of things to do, but of course, if you are only interested in Facebook ... :(