Middle east: Unmarried teaching couples

[TeacherGal]

In the middle east are unmarried teaching couples with a non-school age child more or less marketable than childless non-married teaching couples; or is there a difference?

[vandsmith]

in the ME - officially - non-married couples are two single teachers, not a package deal.

i have had friends in my time (UAE) there that were hired, unmarried, and lived together but all it takes is a nosy person to begin a problem.

as to your question, two unmarried people without children are more desirable; but as i said, unmarried couples are officially taboo there.

good luck!

v.

[sid]

Unmarried couples aren’t taboo, they just can’t legally cohabit. Making them less desirable, as schools must provide two sets of housing. With the (slight) risk of the couple getting caught canoodling, it’s extra cost, extra risk, no benefit. At least from the school’s perspective.

[PsyGuy]

I fully concur with @Sid, your question appears to be more about to have a child or not? Yes, kids are always less desirable, they are cost for the IS, and are logistical problems in the future, not being school age the IS doesnt even get to take some pictures for their website and literature. This is further complicated by not being married, and having to maintain to residences (at the ISs expense) and the logistics of caring for a small child in one residence or between residence when your not allowed to co-habitate, one of you will effectively become a single parent.

[TeacherGal]

Thank you. Are there some countries in the middle east where being an unmarried teaching couple would not pose a problem for living together in teacher housing?

[PsyGuy]

@TeacherGal

Theres really two forms of this problem, the first is whats going to be a problem for the IS, and the answer is, no its always going to be a problem, if when the steal meets stone did the IS put the two of you in the same housing, and they did, thats going to be a serious problem for them, and its not worth saving the coin for them so they would need to give you two separate housing, they have to get you separate visas, they have to insure you separately. Theres no benefit to them thus, your two singles and you cost the same as two singles, your not a teaching couple. Add a child and it gets even more messy, an order of magnitude messy.

The other form of the problem is what would be problematic for the two of you, and the answer is yes, there are regions in the ME that would be easier, you could be in Bahrain for example and live together, and you would be very unlikely to have any problems, assuming you didnt bother anyone and didnt annoy anyone, but all it would take is some student that gets pissed off to rat you out. So yes the risk varies by region, and there are some you may be comfortable with the risk.

Just get married, make your lives easier, and then having a child isnt going to be a hot mess. If you go as singles and you get pregnant and have a child, the IS is going to put a lot of pressure on you to get married to the point that if you dont, they will probably dismiss you, as pregnancy is a clear indication that you engaged in unlawful carnal "canoodling".

if you insist on being singles, and the IS thinks its worth it too hire the two of you as singles, be prepared to introduce yourselves and act like a married couple, to the point of buying rings and introducing yourselves as husband and wife.

[Ifyousayso]

In the UAE if you turn up to a doctor pregnant and unmarried the doctor has a legal obligation to report you to the police. It is a criminal offence to give birth while not married and women have gone to prison for it. If you have your child outside of the country but are not married you may find that you cannot get a visa for the child. If you are so against being married why do you want to go to a part of the world that views unmarried partners as criminals. Either get married or go elsewhere, it's not worth the risk.

[sid]

Ok, so it's not the giving birth single part that's technically illegal. It's the getting pregnant part, and yes it's illegal in most if not all of the ME. Doctors have to report you. Everyone tends to look the other way if your pregnancy only lasts a few months after the marriage, after all, weren't the Western countries the ones that invented the saying "First babies are often in a hurry, all the rest take 9 months"? So the important thing is to be married at the point that anyone (even your doctor) knows you are pregnant.
But, really, I agree with the last poster. Go somewhere that it isn't an issue for you. Or get married.

[PsyGuy]

OR use really strong birth control, and either be really sneaky in your canoodling or have a really good performance of pretending to be husband and wife.
While I can imagine a couple reasons for going to the ME (the coin, really love ME history, the coin, love the culture, the coin, okay the only one I would value is the coin), but yes, I concur with @Ifyousayso, if your against getting married and want to have a child without being married, than go somewhere else thst doesnt consider what your doing criminal activity. The forum gets this a lot, westerners think they have universal rights based on the western values and culture they come from, there are lots of regions and the ME is one of them that doesnt give a poo about what you think your rights are. They can absolutely mandate what they want regardless of how discriminatory or offensive you believe it to be. You think your personal and family life is none of their business and they think it is their business and they are right, its their region and country.

@Sid

6 months faster in a hurry, either you or your source or both dont understand how human gestation works.

[Ifyousayso]

If you give birth less than 180 days after the date on the marriage certificate then they will not issue a birth certificate for the child and the matter is referred to the court. The UAE does not allow shotgun weddings.

[PsyGuy]

@Ifyousayso

Alarmist much, its not all doom and gloom, just leave before the start of the third trimester and have the baby elsewhere where you can get a birth certificate. Its not like ""oh no we were canoodling and now Im pregnant and were doomed"". Even if they didnt want to leave all they would have too do is get married before the end of the first trimester.

[Ifyousayso]

PsyGuy wrote:
> @Ifyousayso
>
> Alarmist much, its not all doom and gloom, just leave before the start of
> the third trimester and have the baby elsewhere where you can get a birth
> certificate. Its not like ""oh no we were canoodling and now Im
> pregnant and were doomed"". Even if they didnt want to leave all
> they would have too do is get married before the end of the first
> trimester.
Maybe alarmist, maybe not. Most westerners get away with it but not all. Pregnancy is an unpredictable time. Not everyone is considered safe to fly, some can be on bed rest for months. Why go to a country, planning to commit a serious criminal offence and hope to get away with it? There are women in prison right now for having babies while unmarried in the UAE and other countries in the region. Why risk being one of them? There are so many places in the world that have sensible attitudes to sex and relationships I just don't understand why a couple that don't want to be married would chose to go there.

[TeacherGal]

Thank you all. We may need to look elsewhere.

[vandsmith]

we needed a notarized copy of our marriage certificate to secure visas as a married couple, just an FYI, and we had to bring it to the hospital before we left with our baby.
depending on how both of you feel about 'getting married', maybe it's not the best place right now?
best of luck!

v.

[PsyGuy]

@TeacherGal

The ME isnt your only problem, you just arent a teaching couple in terms of IE. Youre two singles that have a relationship, thats your legal status. There are a lot of regions that bf/gf is not a valid couple for reasons of getting spousal or family visas, and there are a lot of ISs with generally conservative ethos, and your relationship however you explain it says nothing more than at any time you two could break up and require two separate housing accommodation just as other singles. If the IS gives you housing allowances than theyre giving you two housing allowances just as if you were singles. There isnt an advantage to your relationship from the POV of the IS.