The International Schools Review Forum

Can anybody describe their experiences with their children coming back to the States to go to college while you are teaching overseas?

Ill tell you about my friend that graduated from ISKL. We grew up together in Texas, then his last few years of HS, he moved away. He moved back to go to UT Austin and is now a lawyer in Colorado....

It all depends on how strong the family is and what values they instill in their child.

No personal experience but since one else had answered yet I figured I would add what I have seen with friends and colleagues.

Some people have done had very positive experiences with continuing to live and teach overseas while their children go back to the states (or other places) for college. The challenges are much the same as children going off to college anywhere (missing them, cost of travel to visit etc) but magnified due to usually increased distances, travel time, costs etc. An additional concern might be visa requirements/restrictions depending on the country (i.e. making it harder/less convenient for you to exit and return and/or children to visit whenever you would like without prior planning).

Other people have used the timing of their children all graduating and going off to college as their own timeline for retiring from int'l teaching and finding jobs nearer to their children, other family or at least within the same country.

One additional concern might be qualifying for resident discounts/free tuition, depending on where your children want to go/are going to school, whether you maintain an address etc in your home country etc.

Just a few thoughts. Hopefully someone with more first hand experience will chime in.

Likewise as @WT123 I have no personal direct experience. Most ITs with college age children speak of them as they would any child thats 'away' at university.

You will likely qualify for local/resident tuition both in your last place of domicile and locally, potentially giving your adult age children more options for affordable tertiary education.

My son spent 3 years in Tanzania and 5 years in Beijing, graduating there. His transition to college was rocky, even though we have a house in the States and spent summers there. It was hard to look like everyone else, but be so different. It wasn't the difference in music or experiences, either. It was far more the way friendships are developed and maintained, the way teens connect with each other that was so different to the ways international school kids connect. He felt very lonely for quite a while and even more so when he went to spend Christmas with his family (in Rome, Turkey, and Brazil). I don't think he'd trade his experiences for the challenges he's faced, but he definitely experienced the darker side of being international and issues of loss, being uprooted, etc. Both the very very good and the challenges shape kids who grow up overseas for sure.

Our older son remarked that he felt like he had the ability to "talk to anyone about anything" when he settled into college after graduating from our international school, because of his overseas experiences. We make sure to fly him to wherever we are for the Christmas holidays, which I think has helped his transition. He had the choice to go to a uni near family and friends or one farther away, and chose the away one. We watched his confidence grow during his time at our IS's, and he seems to have made a smooth transition to life back in our home country and away from us, so far.

I want to echo mamava's comments. Our children found it a very difficult transition from International school student to university student. They had a hard time connecting with other students who have very different life experiences. It was also difficult because many students, while not commuter students, lived close enough to go home on weekends and shorter holidays and this wasn't possible for our kids. Every kid and experience is different, but I am happy that our experience with college aged kids is coming to an end.

Were your children aware that they were TCKs?
If not, do you think the support/community that exists now would have helped them cope with the university transition?

Our kids are definitely aware they are TCKs...our oldest went to a camp for 2 weeks for missionary kids and kids who were making the jump to college life in the States--he and his friend were the only ones who had been back to the States every summer, so he was prepared for the transition issues, but it was still a challenge. He can talk to anyone about anything overseas, but had a harder time connecting with peers for a while. He was looking forward to this year when he's back overseas (studying in the UK) but when it was time to head out, he realized that it was yet another transition, another set of goodbyes, another time period of settling in...Our next is heading off to college in after next year and is also aware of the challenges. Like I said, I wouldn't trade our experiences for anything--I'm glad they've grown up overseas and they are as well--but there are real challenges along with the fantastic blessings!

Our son graduated overseas after being overseas off and on, the last time for 5 years. He thought going to school at home would be easy because, like other say, he was home every summer. But he learned fairly quickly that his experiences set him apart. It took him a semester to find his niche and a group of eclectic friends, but he did. Now he is quite happy. We flew him out for Christmas the first year, but after that he spent it with family back home.

Every child is different and every experience is different. But being overseas long term creates a very different child than one who stays in the home country for the entire time.