Feeling anxious/sad

[bish180b]

So you have a landed a new job overseas as it gets closer and becomes reality that you are leaving your family, friends (support network) and the secure job you really love.

Instead of feeling excited you are starting to feel sad and anxious...and that makes you start wondering/ second guessing yourself if you are doing the right thing.

Is this normal???????

I would like to hear some stories.

[senator]

Yes, it is normal, especially if it is your first overseas job. It always seems that the summer before you leave to go overseas, something happens that makes you question your decision - sickness in the family, you meet a new boyfriend/girlfriend, you realize that you do, in fact, like your present job and/or location.

Try convincing yourself that you called the new school head and told him/her that you have changed your mind and will not be going. Then gauge how you feel. If you feel relieved or joyful and start thinking of all you will do in your present location now that you are "free" from the responsibility of moving, then maybe you should not go overseas. If, on the other hand, you feel disappointed to not be going to your new place, then, more than likely, your present sadness is only temporary and will pass.

I have done this a few times and there were years when I did feel sad about leaving my family/friends. However, once I packed and got all of my stuff checked in at the airport and had the boarding passes in my hand, it felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders and I was ready for a new adventure.

[wrldtrvlr123]

It's not that uncommon. We were overjoyed to land our first overseas jobs in Egypt after going to a job fair and none of the doubts and comments from friends and family (how can you take a job in a place you have never visited, etc) were able to dampen our enthusiasm. We had a trip through Europe already planned so we basically just rerouted the end point to be our new location.

We were fine with leaving the US as we were basically in vacation mode but as the trip wound down and we got closer to Egypt, a major case of WTF did we do kicked in. As we admitted to ourselves, we had talked the talk and now we actually had to walk the walk. We were in a bit of shock/funk for the first few weeks but once we got past that we were able to focus on the positives that had made us take the jobs in the first place (e.g. looking for a change, financial benefits, travel opportunities etc).

You are obviously getting to that point earlier than some people but most people do seem to go through some version of it at some point in the process. As has been suggested, picture yourself calling the whole thing off and running the other way. Are you going to be happy going back to whatever you were doing/how you were living before you went down the whole path that led to you taking this job? If your sadness/anxiety continues to dampen any enthusiasm for your new life then you might want to reconsider what you are doing. If you find that the negative feelings tend to ebb and flow in between some significant feelings of excitement and anticipation then you are going through something that many people experience as they get ready to leave their old life behind.

[b12r]

Any advice from the vets on the emotional roller coaster once you arrive in your new location?

I accepted a job in South Korea. Very excited at this point but still go through the "am I making the right decision" mentality at times. I know I did make the right decision though. Friends, co workers, and some fam always ask "can you speak Korean" "How will you communicate" "Why int he world would you want to go there" "Arent you afriad of N Korea" etc. It does put a slight damper on the excitement but I realize the same people asking these dumb questions have never left the country and some probably the state.

[bish180b]

yep,thanks for the responses. It's very interesting.
Amazing the roller coaster ride you go through.

I love my teaching job right now but life outside of work is boring.
I would also be taking a cut in pay.

I am anxious about giving up my great job and very nice pay.
But looking forward to having a life.

Great advice on here.

[BRMC]

Completely normal. Here is an article you might find interesting.

https://www.rw-3.com/blog/2007/04/the-e ... hould-know

[carolina]

Keep in mind, the benefits that your new school is offering counts toward your salary. Once I calculated my salary, plus housing, utilities, and grocery allowance as well as transportation, I realized I was actually only taking a pay cut of a thousand dollars. (You may actually do better - I'm currently making an admin salary.)

I think it's normal to experience a rollercoaster of emotions - it's a BIG change. I'm taking my first IT post this summer and got some good advice from those already at the school. I was told to pack holiday decorations - homesickness hits around November and depending on where you are, the lack of holiday decorations might deepen the feeling. I was also told to plan a trip around Thanksgiving, but not back home. Again, homesickness can crop up and it's nice to have a trip you're looking forward to at that time.

[senator]

In Asia you never get homesick in November. The warm weather makes you forget that it is Holiday Season at home.

I can't tell you how many times I woke up in some country during vacation and said, "Hey, you know what, I think today is Christmas!"

[carolina]

@senator, I imagine I'll have the same feeling in the Southern Hemisphere! Not too worried about feeling homesick here. :)

[expatscot]

That moment when you think "S**t, what have I done?..." happens to everyone moving abroad. You're leaving a safe, stable, familiar life to go and live in a country you don't really know for at least two years - why wouldn't you think that? Even now, as i come to the end of my time in one country and prepare to move to another, the thought still crosses my mind (even though I don't really like where I am too much!)

[chilagringa]

Let me quote the excellent film "Empire Records":

"I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do."
If you don't go, you would always wonder.

[CanChi4]

chilagringa wrote:
> Let me quote the excellent film "Empire Records":
>
> "I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do."
> If you don't go, you would always wonder.

This is THE statement for us. We have not let fear stop us from taking risks. We don't want to be an old grandpa and grandma and agonize over what we did not do because we were so worried.
BUT, let me say - our stomachs are churning right now as well!!!

[global_nomad]

This is totally normal even for us veteran international educators. I recently signed at new school for next year (this will be my 6th) and I was initially thrilled, but then I've been recently having some buyers remorse. I know I'll snap out of it as my departure date nears.

[reisgio]

I will play the devil's advocate: If you are taking that much of a pay cut and leaving a secure job that you love, maybe you should pull out and just use your extra money in your current job to pay for nice vacations during the summer? This way you salvage your network back home and get more of a life when school is out.

I sure hope you are going somewhere nice. At least then you can maybe justify it to yourself that you will have a nice work life balance on a weekly basis. But, it would be a shame if you are planning to go to Africa, China, Kuwait, Korea...and the list goes on...

[chilagringa]

Don't worry about where you are going! I have lived in several countries, many hardship locations, and let me tell you, there's something to like about everywhere.