Single Females
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Wanderlust
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 7:38 pm
Single Females
This question was previously asked with no response. I want to pose it again and put a little spin on it. This question is about being a single international educator and more specific a single female. I am a single female in my late 30s and wonder if in chosing to be an international educator I also chose to remain single. In my experience, many cultures outside of North American look with pity on an older single female. I find that many men are interested in North American woman as a "fun" time but that they are not to be taken seriously. I am wondering if others have had this experience and if a life of advenuture abroad often remains a solo adventure for woman over 30. Any opinions or insights?
In the Middle East/North Africa, single women are taken very seriously and many men are looking for long term relationships. Being in your 30's is still young! Have fun and enjoy life! We have some single women at our school and they travel, go to book clubs, go out to eat, operas, dancing, etc. with both men and with other women. I guess it depends upon what type of person you are as it is as much fun internationally as you make it - assuming you are at a decent school.
why?
I am in a similar position. I don't really make the link between being a teacher and being single that you seem to though. Maybe some of the countries I have chosen to live in have somewhat narrowed the playing field when it came to choice of partners but I don't particularly see that as being to do with education.
And I find it interesting that you seem to imply that North Americans don't look with pity on older single females. Sadly I think western culture is just as guilty of that as others (although people are too pc to come out and say it to your face).
And I find it interesting that you seem to imply that North Americans don't look with pity on older single females. Sadly I think western culture is just as guilty of that as others (although people are too pc to come out and say it to your face).
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Wanderlust
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2007 7:38 pm
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jeffofarabia
- Posts: 57
- Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:32 am
- Location: Shanghai, China
One of the things I found weird in East Asia was how foreign women refused to date Japanese or Chinese men, but the foregn men had no problems dating the locals. Maybe it comes down to taste. A lot of people are single by choice.
There are lots of communities overseas to get involved with. In Kuwait there are few single, foreign women, but lots of foreign men. Of course many women here are basically whoring themselves out for the Gucci and Prada and the alcohol that is available at the Kuwaiti . or at the embassy. But it all comes down to what your standards are.
I know a lot of foreign female teachers who don't want to move to East Asia, but haven't heard too many men complain about it.
There are lots of communities overseas to get involved with. In Kuwait there are few single, foreign women, but lots of foreign men. Of course many women here are basically whoring themselves out for the Gucci and Prada and the alcohol that is available at the Kuwaiti . or at the embassy. But it all comes down to what your standards are.
I know a lot of foreign female teachers who don't want to move to East Asia, but haven't heard too many men complain about it.
I don't think foreing women 'refuse' to date chinese or japanese men. There are many reasons that foreign women don't date chinese/japanese men as much as foreign men date the women.
To list a couple off the top of my head
1. Culturally the men often expect to be unquestioned boss in a relationship and find foreign women threatening (especially ones who may be earning significant amounts of money in local terms).
2. The asian ideal of beauty (and the western as well these days) likes women to be small/petite and thus many western women are not attractive to asian men.
3. Conversely many asian men are rather 'feminine' in a lot of ways and thus are not particularly attractive to foreign women.
Obviously these are to a point generalisations (and I hasten to add that I know several foreign women very happily married to Asian men - although while writing this post I just realised that in all the cases I know the woman is petite and the man is fairly well built for an Asian guy). I just wanted to make the point that it isn't like foreign women are generally having locals lining up to date them while they reject them all out of hand...the situation for foreign men/local women is another story.
To list a couple off the top of my head
1. Culturally the men often expect to be unquestioned boss in a relationship and find foreign women threatening (especially ones who may be earning significant amounts of money in local terms).
2. The asian ideal of beauty (and the western as well these days) likes women to be small/petite and thus many western women are not attractive to asian men.
3. Conversely many asian men are rather 'feminine' in a lot of ways and thus are not particularly attractive to foreign women.
Obviously these are to a point generalisations (and I hasten to add that I know several foreign women very happily married to Asian men - although while writing this post I just realised that in all the cases I know the woman is petite and the man is fairly well built for an Asian guy). I just wanted to make the point that it isn't like foreign women are generally having locals lining up to date them while they reject them all out of hand...the situation for foreign men/local women is another story.
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jeffofarabia
- Posts: 57
- Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:32 am
- Location: Shanghai, China
If you are blonde and not too fat, you will have men lining up to date you in Kuwait. (The will actually throw their phone numbers at you while shaking bottles of illegal Jack Daniel's.)
Maybe all of the unmarried women should move to Kuwait and the unmarried men can move to East Asia. Everyone will win then. The western men will be happy to have so many beautiful women around them who aren't afraid to act feminine and the western women will have men who are willing to give them lots of money while laying around talking about being strong feminists. Win win.
Maybe all of the unmarried women should move to Kuwait and the unmarried men can move to East Asia. Everyone will win then. The western men will be happy to have so many beautiful women around them who aren't afraid to act feminine and the western women will have men who are willing to give them lots of money while laying around talking about being strong feminists. Win win.
Single women in the middle east
Being an "over 30" single woman living and traveling in the middle east for the past 3 years, I can only speak from personal experience.
Men in the middle east prefer their women with "a little meat on their bones" to put it mildly. Blonde hair and blue eyes are a definite asset, but not necessary.
The basic attitude of middle eastern men, is that all white women (or maybe I should say non-Arabic!) women, is that we're whores, and will sleep with anybody. That's what they see on TV and in the movies, and that's what they believe. They also believe, for some unknown reason, that we're all rich!!!
They will, indeed, throw their phone numbers at you, offer you money, booze, all kinds of stuff. They'll follow you around, try to cop a feel. They'll literally STALK you. But they're not looking to get married, trust me. And if they DO ask you to marry them, be prepared to be a second (or third or fourth) wife. The first wife is almost inevitably Arabic. And, of course, from the RIGHT family, and RIGHT class. We don't fit in either of those categories.
On the other side of the plate, there are a LOT of western (or again, non-Arabic) men in the middle east. However, be wary of them, too. Many (if not MOST) of them are married and have wives and family elsewhere. Again, you're just a piece on the side. In most cases you're not treated any better by them than you are by the Arabs!
Having said all that, of course, those are generalizations. There are some great guys out there, both Arab and Western. But they are few and far between, and you have to literally DIG your way through the crap and bull****.
I sincerely hope that you don't look at teaching overseas as a place or position to find a husband.
Men in the middle east prefer their women with "a little meat on their bones" to put it mildly. Blonde hair and blue eyes are a definite asset, but not necessary.
The basic attitude of middle eastern men, is that all white women (or maybe I should say non-Arabic!) women, is that we're whores, and will sleep with anybody. That's what they see on TV and in the movies, and that's what they believe. They also believe, for some unknown reason, that we're all rich!!!
They will, indeed, throw their phone numbers at you, offer you money, booze, all kinds of stuff. They'll follow you around, try to cop a feel. They'll literally STALK you. But they're not looking to get married, trust me. And if they DO ask you to marry them, be prepared to be a second (or third or fourth) wife. The first wife is almost inevitably Arabic. And, of course, from the RIGHT family, and RIGHT class. We don't fit in either of those categories.
On the other side of the plate, there are a LOT of western (or again, non-Arabic) men in the middle east. However, be wary of them, too. Many (if not MOST) of them are married and have wives and family elsewhere. Again, you're just a piece on the side. In most cases you're not treated any better by them than you are by the Arabs!
Having said all that, of course, those are generalizations. There are some great guys out there, both Arab and Western. But they are few and far between, and you have to literally DIG your way through the crap and bull****.
I sincerely hope that you don't look at teaching overseas as a place or position to find a husband.
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ttreyy
"Over 30, Single, EXPAT Assignment, Long-Term Relations
Dear "Try Again" and other single "Over 30" expatriate females,
I am an American single father working with an international company that is being transferred to a multi year assignment in Cairo, Egypt. I am due to arrive in Cairo during the first week of June, 2008.
I have previously worked in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia as an expatriate, teaching Royal Saudi Air Force officers how to run and maintain their country's C3/C4 radar sites.
Here are my serious and comical observations on the local and expatriate men that I have worked with in the past. Please understand that the expatriate man (like the expatriate woman) are a special breed. These observations are in no way meant to impune the native men of these countries that are not EXPATS:
American men: Many American men working overseas have been through a recent bitter divorce that has left them financially destitute. Some intense nuturing and healing time will be required, before they will be ready for a new long-term relationship and committment.
Australian men: Chauvinistic sods who are great to have a beer with, great to travel with, but have no idea how to treat strong independent women with respect. My best guess is they are forced to spend much of their free time travelling overseas in search of a date, because all of the women back home have rejected them.
British men: Many Brits working overseas are married, with wives and children still living at home in the U.K. Your long-term relationship with them will be concubine status at the very best.
Canadian men: See American men, if they are not from Quebec. See French men if they are from Quebec.
French men: You are in need of serious mental health counciling if you are considering this type of relationship. See "Story of O" if you have any doubts.
Arabic men: Most of them are looking to put a notch for a "Western Female" on their belt. After they do (and sometimes before) you will be cosidered to be a whore. This is a culture that still demands proof that the woman is a virgin before they are married. Unfortunately, the U.S. Film Industry has most of the rest of the world convinced that all western women can be bedded down with a few good lines and a drink or two. The sad thing is, some western women are beginning to believe this lie as well....
Asian men: Is cigarette smoking a rite of passage for all asian men when they reach puberty? Marry a rich one, and hope that he dies of lung cancer while you are still young.
Good luck to all of you expatriates! I personally find expatriate women to be the most dynamic, self-assurred, and desirable of all of the women in the world!
"If you are not living on the edge, then you are taking up too much space!"
I am an American single father working with an international company that is being transferred to a multi year assignment in Cairo, Egypt. I am due to arrive in Cairo during the first week of June, 2008.
I have previously worked in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia as an expatriate, teaching Royal Saudi Air Force officers how to run and maintain their country's C3/C4 radar sites.
Here are my serious and comical observations on the local and expatriate men that I have worked with in the past. Please understand that the expatriate man (like the expatriate woman) are a special breed. These observations are in no way meant to impune the native men of these countries that are not EXPATS:
American men: Many American men working overseas have been through a recent bitter divorce that has left them financially destitute. Some intense nuturing and healing time will be required, before they will be ready for a new long-term relationship and committment.
Australian men: Chauvinistic sods who are great to have a beer with, great to travel with, but have no idea how to treat strong independent women with respect. My best guess is they are forced to spend much of their free time travelling overseas in search of a date, because all of the women back home have rejected them.
British men: Many Brits working overseas are married, with wives and children still living at home in the U.K. Your long-term relationship with them will be concubine status at the very best.
Canadian men: See American men, if they are not from Quebec. See French men if they are from Quebec.
French men: You are in need of serious mental health counciling if you are considering this type of relationship. See "Story of O" if you have any doubts.
Arabic men: Most of them are looking to put a notch for a "Western Female" on their belt. After they do (and sometimes before) you will be cosidered to be a whore. This is a culture that still demands proof that the woman is a virgin before they are married. Unfortunately, the U.S. Film Industry has most of the rest of the world convinced that all western women can be bedded down with a few good lines and a drink or two. The sad thing is, some western women are beginning to believe this lie as well....
Asian men: Is cigarette smoking a rite of passage for all asian men when they reach puberty? Marry a rich one, and hope that he dies of lung cancer while you are still young.
Good luck to all of you expatriates! I personally find expatriate women to be the most dynamic, self-assurred, and desirable of all of the women in the world!
"If you are not living on the edge, then you are taking up too much space!"
single and over 30
I am a single woman who is WELL over thirty (try over 50....) and have been overseas since I was 41. I think treyy had it spot on. I have had a wonderful time teaching overseas, have travelled and taught in Asia, the US, Africa and the Middle East. BUT certainly there have been 'lean years' when my closest soulmates were definitely my single women friends over 30 who hung out togetherl
My tip is to have fun in Turkey, run like hell in the Middle East, enjoy the wonderful beauty of Africa (but be VERY careful....) and take up any hobby that you fancy - sailing, walking, climbing, diving, safaris, because there you might just meet some single adventurous soul who doen't want a tiny female trophy who is 20 years younger than him, but a real live well-travelled woman.
It took me 11 years, but they were fun years! Good luck.
My tip is to have fun in Turkey, run like hell in the Middle East, enjoy the wonderful beauty of Africa (but be VERY careful....) and take up any hobby that you fancy - sailing, walking, climbing, diving, safaris, because there you might just meet some single adventurous soul who doen't want a tiny female trophy who is 20 years younger than him, but a real live well-travelled woman.
It took me 11 years, but they were fun years! Good luck.