The International Schools Review Forum

Are there any middle level managers who are also part teachers who made the transition to senior leadership recently? What are two or three major life lessons you learned? What are your regrets?

I don’t know about recently, but one lesson stands out vividly.
Your social life will never be the same. Colleagues will treat you differently in subtle and also obvious ways. If you socialize with someone, other colleagues may make you both pay a price. There can be no more friendships that everyone agrees are “innocent”. You can invite people round, but only the bravest or the most political will ever invite you to theirs. Accepting a drink in the bar is a dangerous act.
It’s probably easier to build a social circle entirely outside of school.
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change my decision, but it does hurt that it’s no longer easy or safe to build friendships with colleagues.

As the wife of a senior admin who started as a teacher, I completely concur with Sid's response. All interactions - whether between colleagues or parents - are now a political game for both of us. It is an extremely difficult line to walk at times. You will also be essentially on call 24/7, which WILL affect your family and social life.

I can also speak to this topic as the teacher wife whose husband progressed through the path from Athletic Director to a HS assistant principal, to a HS principal to a head of school in a variety of schools. I am a very social person and I would totally agree with the others saying that your life will change. I am not as "thick skinned" as my husband, something you need if you are considering going into senior leadership. Also you are on constant duty. Holidays are MUCH shorter. You need to be back before everyone else. And let's say during this current Covid pandemic crisis that it is INSANE.There was no summer vacation AT ALL for most HOS. My husband was fielding calls, emails and messages EVERYDAY from the board, parents, teachers, support staff, Ministry of Ed, other HOS, school lawyers, business manager, and the registrar.

In the 5 schools we have been in, we have managed to have a social life. We do host parties, especially for the leadership team, and I do have friends on staff. But I do so quite cautiously and selectively. I know when I walk into a staff room that some stop talking, start whispering, or leave. You have to understand that it comes with the position. I know spouses who feel very alienated. Also if you have children, they can also be affected.

I concur strongly with @Sid, but not entirely. As in many things the answer is more it depends. Theres a difference between being an HOS who has hiring/firing authority and an elementary AP/DP/VP whose social circle at the IS is in the senior school.

Being more distant from the learning. When youre an IT your on one side of the room, the students on the other and the objective is very clear, your goal is to transfer the stuff in your brain to the students brain based on a curriculum of what to transfer. The more you move into leadership the more your tasks towards that goal are more indirect.

The more successful you are as a leader depends more on your ability to apply psychology to individuals and groups, more than it is business management.