Am I cut out for international teaching/teaching at all?
Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 12:24 pm
I'm having a bit of a career crisis. Maybe some of you have been through something similar before, and hopefully can offer some advice.
I left my secure, well-paying public school job in Canada last year to take a job at a third-tier (not even) school in an amazing city in Western Europe. I found the demands of teaching stressful in Canada (I was only in my second year), but I was thriving professionally: lots of PD, constantly trying new things and challenging myself, feeling like I was doing a pretty good job and making a difference. I felt very fulfilled professionally, however I didn't have much "work-life" balance - my job was all-consuming. I think I did put a lot of pressure on myself, and I knew there was still so much to learn.
When I arrived in my new position here in Europe (near the end of the school year, as a kind of floater to fill in for a mix of sick and maternity leaves), I realized immediately the bar had lowered significantly. This is a relatively new, for-profit school, without any real curriculum, and teachers can really do as much or as little as they like. When I first arrived, the lack of pressure was a relief, and I was grateful to feel like I could have a life outside of work. For a few months, it all seemed great (though in the back of my mind, I knew the major downgrade in quality of education would be an issue).
Fast-forward to now:
- My schedule is completely different now that I have my own class - I don't have enough prep time and feel completely overwhelmed. Also, this is a grade change for me, so everything is new.
- The lack of curriculum/total disorganization at my new school is starting to wear on me. I miss higher standards, I miss feeling like there is always room for improvement and growth, and I miss feeling part of a team that is motivated. There are no opportunities for PD.
- I am finding teaching stressful all over again, in a different way - there is such disorganization, and a lot is put on teachers last-minute. There is so little already in place, everything is new and put on teachers to figure out (e.g. curriculum! but also small things like SEN, parent teacher conferences, supervision, etc.) These are the types of things that cut into my already rare and precious prep time.
- A lot of my colleagues are young and make school their social life. I find this has really eroded professionalism, and there is a group that is petty, gossipy, etc. (which I'm sure one can find at any school, but my school is small and makes it more noticeable.)
I have found that I am so drained and overwhelmed that I am struggling to maintain a life outside of school (despite living in a city that offers everything imaginable). In fact, I think I am depressed. I have already started to think about what to do for next year, and I am questioning whether I am even cut out for teaching. I think I am more sensitive than the average person, needing a lot of downtime to decompress from a school day, and greatly affected by any friction with colleagues. (Note, living abroad is not the issue - I love living abroad, and can handle the challenge of being far from friends and family.)
In my mind, there is a dream school where there is not too much pressure (e.g. elite, top-tier IS), yet staff is still very motivated and dedicated, children are valued and in a nurturing environment, and the learning that takes place is exciting and stimulating (I am partial to more alternative schools/teaching, e.g. forest schools, project-based learning, Montessori, etc. I have never worked with PYP, but I am familiar with it and think I would like it.) Also, this dream school is organized and run in such a way that the teachers can focus mainly on teaching and the well-being of their students, and school leadership manages the rest - as well as offering opportunities for professional growth. On top of that, there is enough support/prep time to do my job well during a school day (e.g. 8am - 4pm or 5pm), leaving enough time to enjoy hobbies and socializing after working hours. I am really not concerned about making a lot of money - I don't make much now, and I don't mind at all.
Does this dream teaching situation exist? Or should I start looking at a career change? I really do love working with children and teaching, and I think I am good at it, but I am concerned about how the stress of teaching is affecting the rest of my life. I am wondering if I am in the wrong school or the wrong profession. Any advice would be much appreciated!
I left my secure, well-paying public school job in Canada last year to take a job at a third-tier (not even) school in an amazing city in Western Europe. I found the demands of teaching stressful in Canada (I was only in my second year), but I was thriving professionally: lots of PD, constantly trying new things and challenging myself, feeling like I was doing a pretty good job and making a difference. I felt very fulfilled professionally, however I didn't have much "work-life" balance - my job was all-consuming. I think I did put a lot of pressure on myself, and I knew there was still so much to learn.
When I arrived in my new position here in Europe (near the end of the school year, as a kind of floater to fill in for a mix of sick and maternity leaves), I realized immediately the bar had lowered significantly. This is a relatively new, for-profit school, without any real curriculum, and teachers can really do as much or as little as they like. When I first arrived, the lack of pressure was a relief, and I was grateful to feel like I could have a life outside of work. For a few months, it all seemed great (though in the back of my mind, I knew the major downgrade in quality of education would be an issue).
Fast-forward to now:
- My schedule is completely different now that I have my own class - I don't have enough prep time and feel completely overwhelmed. Also, this is a grade change for me, so everything is new.
- The lack of curriculum/total disorganization at my new school is starting to wear on me. I miss higher standards, I miss feeling like there is always room for improvement and growth, and I miss feeling part of a team that is motivated. There are no opportunities for PD.
- I am finding teaching stressful all over again, in a different way - there is such disorganization, and a lot is put on teachers last-minute. There is so little already in place, everything is new and put on teachers to figure out (e.g. curriculum! but also small things like SEN, parent teacher conferences, supervision, etc.) These are the types of things that cut into my already rare and precious prep time.
- A lot of my colleagues are young and make school their social life. I find this has really eroded professionalism, and there is a group that is petty, gossipy, etc. (which I'm sure one can find at any school, but my school is small and makes it more noticeable.)
I have found that I am so drained and overwhelmed that I am struggling to maintain a life outside of school (despite living in a city that offers everything imaginable). In fact, I think I am depressed. I have already started to think about what to do for next year, and I am questioning whether I am even cut out for teaching. I think I am more sensitive than the average person, needing a lot of downtime to decompress from a school day, and greatly affected by any friction with colleagues. (Note, living abroad is not the issue - I love living abroad, and can handle the challenge of being far from friends and family.)
In my mind, there is a dream school where there is not too much pressure (e.g. elite, top-tier IS), yet staff is still very motivated and dedicated, children are valued and in a nurturing environment, and the learning that takes place is exciting and stimulating (I am partial to more alternative schools/teaching, e.g. forest schools, project-based learning, Montessori, etc. I have never worked with PYP, but I am familiar with it and think I would like it.) Also, this dream school is organized and run in such a way that the teachers can focus mainly on teaching and the well-being of their students, and school leadership manages the rest - as well as offering opportunities for professional growth. On top of that, there is enough support/prep time to do my job well during a school day (e.g. 8am - 4pm or 5pm), leaving enough time to enjoy hobbies and socializing after working hours. I am really not concerned about making a lot of money - I don't make much now, and I don't mind at all.
Does this dream teaching situation exist? Or should I start looking at a career change? I really do love working with children and teaching, and I think I am good at it, but I am concerned about how the stress of teaching is affecting the rest of my life. I am wondering if I am in the wrong school or the wrong profession. Any advice would be much appreciated!