Expat parents, please chime in...

[BellaLuna]

I am accepting my first teaching job and will be moving to Europe this month. But my 8 year old is very upset about moving. I know as her parent I need to make hard decisions about what's best for our family, and I think this adventure will be so great for her. But I would love to hear other parent's experiences about taking their child overseas, especially if the child did not want to move. How did they transition, how long did it take to fit in with peers and make friends, did they learn to love their new home or were they depressed and homesick? I have searched the blogs,but would appreciate your experiences. Thanks!

[Glerky]

My overall impression is that kids who move overseas for the first time will go through the same emotions and transition issues that you will do. The great news is that international students are very inviting and accepting of new students. Although it will take some time and some angst she will make friends and be fine. It will take a little time.

Since I don't know the school I will add one caveat. If the school has a high majority of students from the host country they can at times speak their native language and exclude the expat kids. Just something to be aware of.

Overall I expect she will have an awesome experience. Good luck.

[heyteach]

I suggest going to the expert expats--namely, military families or ex-brats. Sometimes they have to move more than once a year.

[Monkey]

I grew up as a military brat, and moved to Europe at a slightly younger age than your child. In many ways, Europe is a great first international post; it's foreign, but not nearly as much of a stretch from North American culture and life than many other places.

I would highly recommend reading up on Third Culture Kids (TCKs) and Culture Shock--there are lots of books and blogs about these subjects. They would give you an idea of what to expect and how to cope. If you plan to do the IT thing for a while with your daughter, the TCK info could also give you better insight into your daughter (assuming you didn't grow up as an expat yourself). I know sometimes my parents don't always get how different my childhood was from their own. Wouldn't trade it for a different experience, though!

I have no doubt she'll be fine; I know many people who moved around a lot as kids, and none of us have turned out too horribly. ;)

[twimih]

My kids were 7 and 8 when they made their first international move. It was a difficult move for me, but by making it sound exciting and fun they both looked forward to it and it went smoothly for them. I tried to make every change sound like the best thing that could possibly happen. Kids are sensitive to what their parents say and do, so be sure to keep it positive and they will believe you! My 7 year old - the social one - fit right in, and my 8 year old - the introvert - took a month or two to settle. At no time did they complain about the move, and they did happily go back and forth to their birth country every summer. They made friends easily - more easily at that age than older. It could also have a lot to do with personality types.

I was 8 when I made my first international move, from the United States to a small third-world country. I loved it and was excited about the new experiences, which were completely different from what I was used to. Moving back to the US at age 11 was devastating. It took me two years to get over it. As an adult I have continued to have the same problem - I can move to other countries with little culture shock, but it hits hard when I return to the US. That's why I'm staying overseas! (And my kids are now grown up and living in all new countries as well.)

Good luck! I'm sure it will work out well!