Accepting...then rejecting.

[migratingbird]

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I struggle with the search function on this site. So, on Sunday I accepted an offer. No contract has been signed, or even delivered as yet. The offer is with a great school, but not my ideal country, however I have a family to support so I accepted in a panic. Today (Tuesday morning), an offer comes through from another good school in my number 1 country choice. This is not about money, as both packages are pretty much the same, and its not about quality of school, again they're both pretty equal. It's all about the country. I am usually such a "good" person - I always play by the rules and stick to my word. But this time I'm really torn. My country of choice is extremely child-friendly, and I have a baby. The other school is somewhere I personally don't find so attractive to raise a family in. Do I go through with original decision or jump ship now? And am I honest in my reason or make up a story about why I can no longer accept. If it was just me on my own, I'd probably stick to my word, but having the family to think about makes it so much more complicated. Please help!

[Briz]

I think this is easy. Go with what is best for your family. You have not signed anything. Your life situation changed. Do you really want to hurt your family because you said yes mere hours before something else came through. No one can judge what you are going through. No contract signed, take the second offer. A polite email saying your family situation has taken a turn over the last week and you will no longer be able to accept the position. Someone might get upset, it might hurt you in the long run somewhere (doubtful) but your child and family is more important than their moralistic approval!

[tdaley26]

I realize that my opinion is contrary to what most will say, but I think a verbal offer is always conditional. The school can always change its mind. Between the time that the school makes its verbal offer and sends you a written document (and this can take weeks if not a month or more!!) the school will be checking your references, your credentials, possibly even checking up on you on social media sites to verify that you are what you appeared to be at interview. A teacher has every right to do the same.

In fact, I am in my current job now because I kept interviewing after I had been verbally offered a job. The contract ( emailed 3 weeks after the offer was made) did not match what was said in interview. Thankfully I had decided that until I had a signed contract, I did not really have a job.

In your position , I would politely tell the first school that after further thought, you feel that you must decline their offer. I would not go into any more detail than that. Your reasons are personal.

One further thought. Make sure the offer from the second school is solid. It's a small world out there, you can do this sort of thing as a one-off but you don't want to find this happening again.

[Helen Back]

I often wonder about the legalities of verbally accepting a contract. Could one not say, "I accept this position pending viewing and acceptance of the final contract", because that's when you get to see the nitty gritty. How can you truly say you accept something when you may not have seen the final details. I was recently sent a contract from a 'sister school'. I know it's similar to the one I would be asked to sign but gives details that don't apply to me and I could not accept an offer based purely on this (verbally or otherwise). Surely I have the right to wait until the final contract comes to make a final decision. Of course, I realize if you have already had time to view an exact sample copy of the contract, this would become more problematic.

[migratingbird]

I've only just seen the contract now, and to be honest there are a few things that I'm unsure about. I really appreciate feedback from people, it's made me feel a lot better. Thanks! It's nice to know changing my mind now does not make me a completely evil person!

[calciodirigore]

Hello.

No written contract, no reason to feel bad about anything. The verbal acceptance is once again something that favours schools entirely. At times contracts need to be legalised or go through some other legal process and so they don't arrive until a few weeks after you have accepted an offer. That's understandable. But as tdaley26 stated earlier, you really don't know what the schools are up to while your contract is being processed or is 'in flight'.

I don't condone certain behaviours (e.g. signing a contract but still keeping your eyes open, lying to schools outright, etc.). However, your situation is quite different and when it comes to family then that's all you need to worry about.

[prince15]

Interesting post.

If we assume that Migratingbird signed the contract with the first school and then receives an offer from the second one, what are peoples thoughts now?

[adminpaul]

Here's an ISR Blog on this very question.


http://internationalschoolsreviewdiscus ... ld-you-do/

[migratingbird]

Hi prince15. Luckily I wasn't in that situation. However, if a contract had been signed, I wouldn't have broken it....well, I don't think I would have. It's so hard to know until you're in the situation. I think the amount of time that has passed plays a big factor - if the visa processing etc has already started, I think that's a lot worse, the school has already invested too much time and money into you. Reading through the thread suggested by admin, I also wasn't "looking" after I'd verbally accepted the job - the offer came from a school that interviewed me over a month ago.

[Dawson]

I agree with everyone else. You hadn't signed the contract yet so you are certainly free to decline the offer. I think you were right to email them and say in a very polite and forthright way that you are sorry, but you now have to decline the position due to family circumstances. If they press for more just politely tell them you don't want to get into detail, but after further research it wasn't the best fit country-wise for your family. You are being totally honest and I don't think any recruiter could hold that against you. I think you need to say more than just that you decline the position though. Give the reason as family circumstances have changed. This keeps everything nice and won't hurt you in the long run. It wouldn't hurt to also reiterate how impressed you were with the school and leadership and that you are truly regretful you can't accept, but it is due to a family situation. Like I said, keeps things positive and no bad feelings is always good down the road. Good luck.

[migratingbird]

Thanks for the advice, Dawson. I did exactly that - and everything now seems to be fine. It's been great to have your support, people, thank you.

[sid]

Helen Back wrote:
> I often wonder about the legalities of verbally accepting a contract. Could
> one not say, "I accept this position pending viewing and acceptance of
> the final contract", because that's when you get to see the nitty
> gritty. How can you truly say you accept something when you may not have
> seen the final details. I was recently sent a contract from a 'sister
> school'. I know it's similar to the one I would be asked to sign but gives
> details that don't apply to me and I could not accept an offer based purely
> on this (verbally or otherwise). Surely I have the right to wait until the
> final contract comes to make a final decision. Of course, I realize if you
> have already had time to view an exact sample copy of the contract, this
> would become more problematic.

Legally speaking, a verbal contract is as binding as a written one. Ask a lawyer. There is no difference from that perspective.
It may be harder to prove a verbal contract, but that is a different question.
If you aren't ready to accept, because you haven't seen the details, then don't accept until you see the details. Yes, you have that right, but only if you are clear that that's what you're doing. If you say yes, you legally mean yes. If you say 'conditionally yes, if...', then you are legally in a different position. And of course, if you haven't really said yes, then the school doesn't have the same responsibility to you as they would if you had.
One way to think about it, is to picture a reciprocal and equal level of acceptance/responsibility between you and the school. You should be as committed as you expect they should be. If you're all in, they're all in. If you're half in, so are they. And no fair (on either side) pretending to be all in unless you are actually all in.

[IAMBOG]

Surely, unless you are given a contract to view before being offered, or given a contract at the time of offer (and time to mull it over), then it is always pending, regardless of whether you use the word pending or not. How can you legally agree to something when you haven't seen the small print?

Wouldn't a legally binding verbal agreement be between two people who have had adequate access to all the materials and resources needed to make a definitive decision? That isn't the case here.

[sid]

Again, ask a lawyer. I have, and I was told what I'm telling you. If you agree, you agree. It doesn't matter if you have seen all the fine print. You can defer agreement until you see it all, but if you say yes, you say yes, regardless.

So if you want to wait until you have everything in front of you, you have to say so. Not seeing it makes no difference legally. The only thing that might make a difference legally would be if either . significantly misrepresented relevant information. And the definition of relevant, from a legal perspective, is more narrow than you might expect. This would cover if the recruiter told porky pies about the salary, but probably not cover if they told you the lifestyle was exciting when it turns out to be pretty boring.

Think about when a family enrolls a student in your school. Most likely they are given a reasonable amount of relevant information, as you are during recruiting, but are they given EVERYTHING? Are they fully apprised of the discipline policy, the sciences curriculum topics, that tuition will go up 30% in a couple months, the fact that while DP Visual Arts is offered, there is not room for all students in that class, so in 3 years, their highly artistic child might have to settle for Drama? And even though they don't know everything, are they still expected to abide by all rules, follow all procedures and payment schedules? Yes, of course. In part, because there is no such thing as knowing everything. You can be at a school for a dozen years as a student or employee, and still not know everything, not even know everything relevant to you. Waiting until you know everything, means you'll wait forever before signing a contract. And if you use the standard of the contract not being 'real' until you know everything, in those terms the contract will never be legal. Not for you, and not for the school - at what point, after all, do you consider they know everything about you? Surely if you must know everything about the school before the contract 'counts', than the school gets the same courtesy?


Remember the Mayflower Compact? The Pilgrims all signed an agreement while still on the Mayflower to bind themselves to follow whatever rules/laws their leaders enacted once they landed and set up housekeeping. Interesting... What it's got to do with the price of milk, I don't know.

[Dawson]

Sid,
I have no doubt that your legal information is correct. However, you are misapplying it here. I don't know of any school who is going to take a teacher to court because they reneged on a verbal contract. Schools operate at fairs knowing that a verbal offer is only contingent on that person signing. Most do, but in some cases like this, candidates decide not to sign. It's a regular practice and is so common that schools know to have back-up candidates so while your information is interesting it certainly isn't relevant here.