Hi all,
Looking for some advice from all you veterans (and non-vets).
I was essentially 'forced' out of a school some years ago, primarily due to crossing a particularly difficult parent. To cut a long story short I wasn't fired and we 'mutually' agreed to part company after 1 yr instead of the full two yrs.
This was a good 2nd tier school with a sound rep. Because of the timing and circumstances I now find myself in a very shady 3 rd tier school. I have been here now for 4 yrs, so consider my sentence spent, for good behavior and being able to withstand heavy artillery for many years! :lol:
Problem is I just can't seem to put it behind me. I have secured interviews at decent 2nd tier schools since being here but just can't get that position and I'm sure a major factor is the past school. As soon as I'm honest and open and explain about the parent they smile and nod, agree that it happens, then I get the inevitable thanks but no thanks email. I'm sure they consider me a risk and just do not need to take it i guess.
I want to keep my integrity intact and continue to tell the truth but feel that it is getting me nowhere, if not indeed shooting myself in the foot. Should I change tact? Is there another angle I can take? Am I being too honest as my career trickles down the drain?
Any suggestions and advice would be most welcomed and thanks in advance.
Getting your career back on track after a bump.
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Yantantether
- Posts: 168
- Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:41 am
I think you're explaining too much. I wouldn't mention ANYTHING about crossing a parent--yes, "it happens," but if they see you as possibly difficult they will give you a pass.
You agreed mutually that it wasn't a good fit. That's all the answer you need, but only if they ask. Don't volunteer it. Stick with looking to the future, seeking new opportunities and challenges. Keep it positive.
You agreed mutually that it wasn't a good fit. That's all the answer you need, but only if they ask. Don't volunteer it. Stick with looking to the future, seeking new opportunities and challenges. Keep it positive.
I agree. Don't mention it all! And please, for the love of God, stop mentioning the 2nd & 3rd tier schools! Act as if you traded one good experience for another. When asked why you left your first school, you left because, it was too far from home, or living there caused you to become quite ill, there were staffing cuts, anything- expect that you had a personality conflict with another individual! You loved it, but you had to leave. I admire your honesty- but quite frankly directors do not want people on their staff who make trouble and if you tell that story that is how they will see you (even in spite of 4 years without any issues at your present school. Completely unfair- but it's a reality)
You're right, you have done your time. When you speak to the interviewer, focus on the great experiences that you have had at your present school and explain what you can bring to theirs.
Best of luck!!!
You're right, you have done your time. When you speak to the interviewer, focus on the great experiences that you have had at your present school and explain what you can bring to theirs.
Best of luck!!!
Triple Agree
You need to get better at lieing. Don't mention the past personality conflict, aft 4 years the fact that you haven't put it behind you says you haven't grown from it. Recruiters just won't take a risk on someone who confesses to being a trouble maker. You have great reviews from your current school focus on those. The previous school should be a footnote in your mind. If asked about it you should have a neutral and short response. It was a one year contract, you had a medical issue, emergency back home, reduction in enrollment, staffing cuts, family issue. Never volunteer anything that remotely reflects on your performance or character.
Discussion
Ok so if the OP is asked "Have you ever had conflict with a parent, and if so discuss what happened and the outcome?"
By your advice they should 'tell the truth', in which case the OP will just get more of the same repeat in history. I agree telling the truth would be the right thing to do, but the right thing isnt always (or in the case of business, even often) the best thing to do.
Me id lie, yes they might check and find out, but if you tell the truth you wouldnt have gotten the job anyway.
By your advice they should 'tell the truth', in which case the OP will just get more of the same repeat in history. I agree telling the truth would be the right thing to do, but the right thing isnt always (or in the case of business, even often) the best thing to do.
Me id lie, yes they might check and find out, but if you tell the truth you wouldnt have gotten the job anyway.
If I was asked that question, I'd simply talk about a challenging parent, where the situation ended a little more positively.
Let's face it - a lot of 'spinning' goes on in interviews. The school is not going to bring up their dirty laundry in the interview. So there is no need for you to do so either.
Make the focus of your discussion the positive contributions you have made to your current school and if your references back you up, I am sure you will land a rewarding position.
Good luck.
Let's face it - a lot of 'spinning' goes on in interviews. The school is not going to bring up their dirty laundry in the interview. So there is no need for you to do so either.
Make the focus of your discussion the positive contributions you have made to your current school and if your references back you up, I am sure you will land a rewarding position.
Good luck.
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Yantantether
- Posts: 168
- Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:41 am
Thanks for taking the time to contribute everybody, much appreciated.
I think there appear to be essentially two camps here: the 'don't go into detail' camp and the 'just lie' camp. Ideally I'd prefer the former, however this really just isn't reality from my experience. Just telling them it wasn't a good fit just doesn't cut it with the better schools - they want to know why. So then we turn full circle again and either have to divulge OR, do as some have suggested and lie outright which I am really not comfortable with at all.
Saying that, I agree that divulging the parent info. is not working but as said, if they ask for the reason I was there only 1 yr, I'm really left with those 2 choices; the truth or a lie.
A further complication is that I am still in the same country (city even) and ideally want to secure a position here as my partner is from here and works here. However, right now I'm accepting that I may have to get out for a few years just to get back into a decent school again, look to come back after a few years and push this further down the order of importance on my CV.
Perhaps ultimately, the best strategy for me personally is do as some suggest and just offer the 'not a good fit' line and hope they leave it at that, but do folks really believe a school that is going to offer you a good contract will really just settle for this? A simple call is all that is needed if they have any doubt.
Just goes to show what a moments spat with a stroppy parent can lead to, so be careful out there folks. I'm now in my 5th yr at my current school, have barely had a handful of days off in that time and was offered a coordinators position this year, yet still struggling to get this monkey off my back!
Oh Psy Guy, thank you for your thoughts, however I really have no idea what you base this assumption on at all: "aft 4 years the fact that you haven't put it behind you says you haven't grown from it." Do you consider my honesty and desire not to lie as lack of growth? I have certainly moved on, but unfortunately it's others who refuse to see it and accept this!
Thanks again guys.
I think there appear to be essentially two camps here: the 'don't go into detail' camp and the 'just lie' camp. Ideally I'd prefer the former, however this really just isn't reality from my experience. Just telling them it wasn't a good fit just doesn't cut it with the better schools - they want to know why. So then we turn full circle again and either have to divulge OR, do as some have suggested and lie outright which I am really not comfortable with at all.
Saying that, I agree that divulging the parent info. is not working but as said, if they ask for the reason I was there only 1 yr, I'm really left with those 2 choices; the truth or a lie.
A further complication is that I am still in the same country (city even) and ideally want to secure a position here as my partner is from here and works here. However, right now I'm accepting that I may have to get out for a few years just to get back into a decent school again, look to come back after a few years and push this further down the order of importance on my CV.
Perhaps ultimately, the best strategy for me personally is do as some suggest and just offer the 'not a good fit' line and hope they leave it at that, but do folks really believe a school that is going to offer you a good contract will really just settle for this? A simple call is all that is needed if they have any doubt.
Just goes to show what a moments spat with a stroppy parent can lead to, so be careful out there folks. I'm now in my 5th yr at my current school, have barely had a handful of days off in that time and was offered a coordinators position this year, yet still struggling to get this monkey off my back!
Oh Psy Guy, thank you for your thoughts, however I really have no idea what you base this assumption on at all: "aft 4 years the fact that you haven't put it behind you says you haven't grown from it." Do you consider my honesty and desire not to lie as lack of growth? I have certainly moved on, but unfortunately it's others who refuse to see it and accept this!
Thanks again guys.
*Sigh*
This might be hard to hear but this isnt an honesty or integrity issue, im sorry. There are only 2 things that keep someone stuck in a place they dont want to be, doing the same thing without results: principal and money (Id add love, but you can always take them with you), and i dont hear you staying for the money, and its not the principal of honesty.
Whatever that confrontation was 4/5 years ago, you think you were in the right, the parent wrong and your waiting for some recruiter to vindicate you. Thats the only reason why anyone would stick to telling the story for almost 5 years, when it hasnt gotten them anywhere.
You havent grown from it, because your still dwelling on it, its been almost FIVE years. Even my PYP3 students would have gotten their whining "that life isnt fair", swallowed their pride, and moved on a long time ago. Honestly, your on an online forum asking a group of nameless strangers, for some kind of permission and confirmation. Do you really need "US" to tell you that it wasnt fair, happens all the time and its either okay to lie or better to tell the truth? This is going to hurt but your not suffering all these years over honesty, integrity, or character, your doing it out of pride, ego, and vanity.
Sorry, but grow up, and move on.
Whatever that confrontation was 4/5 years ago, you think you were in the right, the parent wrong and your waiting for some recruiter to vindicate you. Thats the only reason why anyone would stick to telling the story for almost 5 years, when it hasnt gotten them anywhere.
You havent grown from it, because your still dwelling on it, its been almost FIVE years. Even my PYP3 students would have gotten their whining "that life isnt fair", swallowed their pride, and moved on a long time ago. Honestly, your on an online forum asking a group of nameless strangers, for some kind of permission and confirmation. Do you really need "US" to tell you that it wasnt fair, happens all the time and its either okay to lie or better to tell the truth? This is going to hurt but your not suffering all these years over honesty, integrity, or character, your doing it out of pride, ego, and vanity.
Sorry, but grow up, and move on.
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Yantantether
- Posts: 168
- Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:41 am
Well well Psy Guy, it didn't take long before you let your mouth run away did it!
Let's get one thing straight before we go any further - don't even consider mouthing personal insults at me again unless you are willing and able to do the same should we meet in the street! Stay off my threads and I will steer clear from yours.
This has nothing at all to do with me thinking life isn't fair or wanting to be vindicated. I came here for ideas on how best to approach a delicate issue and as usual you jump in with both feet and start with your sweeping genralisations and baseless assumptions!
Who told you I have been actively seeking employment for 5 years? Did I say I thought I was in the right? You accuse someone you don't know of not moving on and whining because they prefer to tell the truth - unreal!
Your spend your life on here claiming to be the font of all knowledge, spouting unmeasureable amounts of nonsense and opinions and then have the audacity to talk about ego and vanity.
Stop looking in the mirror and find yourself something useful to do - flower arranging perhaps?!
Let's get one thing straight before we go any further - don't even consider mouthing personal insults at me again unless you are willing and able to do the same should we meet in the street! Stay off my threads and I will steer clear from yours.
This has nothing at all to do with me thinking life isn't fair or wanting to be vindicated. I came here for ideas on how best to approach a delicate issue and as usual you jump in with both feet and start with your sweeping genralisations and baseless assumptions!
Who told you I have been actively seeking employment for 5 years? Did I say I thought I was in the right? You accuse someone you don't know of not moving on and whining because they prefer to tell the truth - unreal!
Your spend your life on here claiming to be the font of all knowledge, spouting unmeasureable amounts of nonsense and opinions and then have the audacity to talk about ego and vanity.
Stop looking in the mirror and find yourself something useful to do - flower arranging perhaps?!
I can't help but agree with psiguy. After 4 years whats the issue? There is no need to lie you resigned. Unless you punched a parent and got a criminal conviction no need to disclose. Loads of teachers are pits to parents, parent is important, makes life difficult for teacher and all for no good reason. If you can hold down a job for 4 years no need to bring up a negative reason for leaving. It isn't lieing! Crikey some on this forum obviously never had a real job in the real world. Teachers should be min 30 yr old before training in my opinion and have held down a regular job for 5 years!
[quote="Yantantether"]Well well Psy Guy, it didn't take long before you let your mouth run away did it!
Let's get one thing straight before we go any further - don't even consider mouthing personal insults at me again unless you are willing and able to do the same should we meet in the street! Stay off my threads and I will steer clear from yours.
[/quote]
Oof! Maybe that parent had a case against you if this is the way you handle some critique!
:oops:
Let's get one thing straight before we go any further - don't even consider mouthing personal insults at me again unless you are willing and able to do the same should we meet in the street! Stay off my threads and I will steer clear from yours.
[/quote]
Oof! Maybe that parent had a case against you if this is the way you handle some critique!
:oops:
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Yantantether
- Posts: 168
- Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2012 12:41 am
'Oof! Maybe that parent had a case against you if this is the way you handle some critique! '
It wasn't critique, it was personal and uncalled for. This is how I deal with anyone who mouths personal insults behind the safety of their keyboard. If you read this forum you'll be well aware of the nature of many of his ill-informed and opinionated posts. Sometimes you just kick too many dogs!
It wasn't critique, it was personal and uncalled for. This is how I deal with anyone who mouths personal insults behind the safety of their keyboard. If you read this forum you'll be well aware of the nature of many of his ill-informed and opinionated posts. Sometimes you just kick too many dogs!
Reply
"You mean other then being absolutely and completely accurate, does it matter?"
1) Your welcome to reply, comment etc on any post I make or contribute too. No invitation needed, thats what this site is for.
2) Its not a delicate issue, it was maybe 4 years ago (3 tops), but not anymore.
3) I got it from you when you wrote "I have secured interviews at decent 2nd tier schools since being here but just can't get that position..."
4) You didnt have to say you needed vindication, and its not an accusation, its a conclusion based on -.
5) I have heeps of audacity, I dont suffer from any small amount of self esteem, and I have a whole closet full of character, in case your wondering.
1) Your welcome to reply, comment etc on any post I make or contribute too. No invitation needed, thats what this site is for.
2) Its not a delicate issue, it was maybe 4 years ago (3 tops), but not anymore.
3) I got it from you when you wrote "I have secured interviews at decent 2nd tier schools since being here but just can't get that position..."
4) You didnt have to say you needed vindication, and its not an accusation, its a conclusion based on -.
5) I have heeps of audacity, I dont suffer from any small amount of self esteem, and I have a whole closet full of character, in case your wondering.