hi there. ive been living in shanghai for about a year and a half. i think it's a great place for a family! there is so much to see and do. so much culture and a lot of the luxuries that we have back home too. lots of good schools, community groups, and support services. i honestly don't notice how many people there are anymore. other than on the metro during rush hour, highways, or in a touristic place during a holiday, I don't notice there are 20 million people here. there are a lot of family residential areas here where it's clean, quiet, and far away from the hustle and bustle of shanghai. hope that helps. let me know if you need more info.